It Will Turn Around….Or Maybe Not

As a military brat (child of a military member), I lived in quite a few places and attended a bunch of different schools. In fact in the eight years from Kindergarten through seventh grade, I attended seven different schools. Born in California, I’ve always considered myself a native. We moved away from California after my Kindergarten year, but returned the summer before my seventh grade.

We lived in Torrance, which is a city in the Los Angeles area. It had industry, retail, lots of houses and beach access. Having spent years in Colorado, central Alabama and northern Virginia, the beach was quite a draw to a teenage boy. Shortly after moving there, my brother and I decided we wanted to go to the beach. My mother, who had found a new job, told us where we could get on the bus and made sure we had enough money to get there and get back. The bus stop was about 1 mile from our house and the beach was another several miles beyond that. We hadn’t taken a public bus before.

We took our money, went to the bus stop and when the bus came, boarded it. We got off at the right stop and spent the day swimming. Unfortunately we swam too close to the Redondo Beach Pier whose posts had just been given a fresh coat of tar. The excess tar in the water stuck to our legs. As my brother had signed up for the football team, we knew we wanted to get back in plenty of time to remove the tar before his practice, so we left about 3PM.

We boarded the bus for the return trip and when we got to the area close to home where we first boarded, I stood up to get off. My brother told me that we were on the wrong side of the street and the bus would soon turn around and we could just get off on the right side. I sat down and the bus drove on.

Four miles later, we became sufficiently concerned that it hadn’t turned around. I approached the bus driver and when it would turn around. He looked at me and told me that it wouldn’t. We quickly left the bus.

We were in an unfamiliar city, with no money (having spent what we had on the bus), not remembering my mom’s new work phone number. We did know that the bus had not turned, so if we walked back along the route we just came, we’d find home. So we started walking (carrying our Boogie Boards).

Well over an hour later we arrived home to find my panicked mom. She had expected us home and when we didn’t answer, left work to look for us. My brother dressed for football, she handed me a bottle of nail polish remover and took him to football. It was hours before I was tar free.

Balsamic Brussels Sprouts Pizza

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The flavors of this pizza are deep and savory.

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Note the cauliflower…..we’ll be using that first.

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Steam and then put the cauliflower in a food processor.

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I used a cheesecloth to try to squeeze as much water out of the cauliflower as possible.

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Getting the sauce ready.

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Putting the dough together.

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Frying the toppings.

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Spreading the crust in a cast iron pan.

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Add the sauce, toppings and cheese.

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Doesn’t that look awesome?

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I need more of this RIGHT NOW!

Balsamic Brussels Sprouts Pizza

Cook Time: 50 min


1/2 large cauliflower head, chopped (About 4 cups)
2 eggs
2 tablespoons coconut flour
Dash garlic powder and thyme

1 tablespoon chopped fresh oregano
15 oz. can tomato sauce
6 oz. can tomato paste
1/2 teaspoon thyme
2 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 cup shredded brussels sprouts
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
2 cups mozzarella cheese, shredded
Pitted kalamata olives
Sun-dried tomatoes


1. Place chopped cauliflower into a food processor and process until pieces resemble small grains of rice. (It should make about 2 1/2 cups of “rice”.) Put cauliflower into a microwave safe bowl and cover. Cook for 5 minutes and allow to cool slightly on the counter. Pour cauliflower onto a cheese cloth and squeeze excess moisture out. Place back in bowl and stir in eggs, coconut flour, and seasonings.

1. In a small saucepan, combine all of the sauce ingredients and stir. Cook over medium heat until warm. Reserve 1 cup of sauce for the pizza. Refrigerate the leftover for dipping or freeze it so you have some on hand for future pizza making!

1. In a medium pan, heat olive oil. Toss in Brussels sprouts and garlic. Cook over medium heat until Brussels sprouts begin to soften, about 10 minutes. Stir in balsamic vinegar and cook another 2 minutes. Remove from heat and set aside.

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease cast iron skillet with cooking spray. Press cauliflower crust into the bottom of the pan using your hands to spread it out evenly. Bake for 10-15 minutes.

2. Remove crust from oven and top with sauce, cheese, and other toppings.

3. Bake pizza another 10 minutes or until cheese begins to melt.

4. Place under broiler for another 3 minutes until cheese is completely melted and crust begins to brown.


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Categories: Cheese3, Italian, kosher, Low Carb, Lunch3, Main Dish 3, Recipes, Vegetable4, Vegetarian

Author:The Ranting Chef

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2 Comments on “It Will Turn Around….Or Maybe Not”

  1. May 26, 2015 at 9:37 pm #

    Love that you used shredded brussels sprouts and cauliflower.


  2. June 2, 2015 at 7:59 pm #

    Oh, this story turned out okay but you had me worried. I remember getting on buses or trains (or the subway) and going right past my ‘stops!’ Horrible feeling, that is.


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