My Biggest Mistake….So Says My Wife!

There are things we do in life that we regret. Some we regret to our dying days. This story is not about one of them. The Ranting Wife thinks I should regret it, but as I still find humor in it, I have to decline the burden of regret.

About 10 years ago, I took the family on a trip to visit my brother and his family in Phoenix, AZ. We spent time with them playing games, having fun and even doing a bit of hiking in the hills around the city. One day my brother suggested we take the kids (my eldest was probably 10 and his youngest was four) to a tourist-focused re-creation of an old west town. The kids could enjoy a wagon ride, see some animals and experience the feel of the old west.

We arrived there and it was all as advertised. In addition to the items mentioned above, there was a mechanical bull, which threw my brother off after a sufficient amount of time designed to make him feel he got his money’s worth.

While walking around, I noticed the town jail, with the sheriff (complete with big silver star) sitting in front. There was a sign advertising how you could get a friend or loved one locked up for a small fee. The devil that lives inside of me knew I had to do this. My wife will say this was my first mistake.

My big decision was who my victim was going to be. Not wanting to scare my young niece by arresting her father, I settled on The Ranting Wife. As you can probably guess, this has also been considered a mistake by my wife. A BIG mistake.

I paid my money and pointed out my wife to the sheriff. I left and re-joined my family and as we were walking down the street the Sheriff approached. He yelled out my wife’s name. She stopped in her tracks, looking horrified. Now is probably a good time to tell you that while I relish being the center of attention, my wife does not. In fact, she abhors it. I have been threatened with divorce if I ever tell a waiter that it is her birthday and singing in a restaurant occurs. So the look of horror should have been predicted by me.

The Sheriff told her to stop in her tracks and that she was a wanted outlaw. He put a pair of handcuffs on her and started to lead her to the jail. I, as well as the rest of the family, laughed and it was then that I knew I’d pay dearly for this.

The Sheriff stopped short of the jail and called over a cowgirl on a horse that was riding by. He told my wife that she would be set free if she could beat the cowgirl in a race. Noting the unfairness of the situation (after all the cowgirl was on horseback), he gave my wife a stick horse. You’ve seen those before, they have a stuffed head of a horse on the top of a stick and you are supposed to gallop around with it between your legs while you pretend to ride.

The Ranting Wife played along and after a race back and forth across the street, was released. I, however, will never be released from this transgression!

Lazy Man’s Ribs Recipe

Photo Mar 12, 5 00 27 PM - Featured Size

If these were the prize, I’d win that horse race every time!

Photo Mar 12, 6 07 08 AM

A lot of ingredients for a lazy man!

Photo Mar 12, 4 50 41 PM

They fall off the bone.

Photo Mar 12, 4 54 09 PM

Thickening the sauce.

Photo Mar 12, 5 00 16 PM

So awesome and easy!

Lazy Man’s Ribs Recipe

prep 20 min ∙ cook 300 min ∙ source

2-1/2 pounds pork baby back ribs, cut into eight pieces
2 teaspoons Cajun seasoning
1 medium onion, sliced
1 cup ketchup
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/3 cup orange juice
1/3 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup molasses
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon barbecue sauce
1 teaspoon stone-ground mustard
1 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon Liquid Smoke, optional
Dash salt
5 teaspoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon cold water

1. Rub ribs with Cajun seasoning. Layer ribs and onion in a 5-qt. slow cooker. In a small bowl, combine the ketchup, brown sugar, orange juice, vinegar, molasses, Worcestershire sauce, barbecue sauce, mustard, paprika, garlic powder, Liquid Smoke if desired and salt. Pour over ribs. Cover and cook on low for 5-6 hours or until meat is tender.

2. Remove ribs and keep warm. Strain cooking juices and skim fat; transfer to a small saucepan. Combine cornstarch and water until smooth; stir into juices. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Serve with ribs. Yield: 4 servings.


1 serving (2 each) equals 753 calories, 39 g fat (14 g saturated fat), 153 mg cholesterol, 1,335 mg sodium, 70 g carbohydrate, 2 g fiber, 33 g protein.


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Categories: Cajun, Fruit 2, Main Dish 3, Pork2, Recipes, Slow Cooker

Author:The Ranting Chef

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6 Comments on “My Biggest Mistake….So Says My Wife!”

  1. February 6, 2015 at 11:43 am #

    You are telling the story so it wasn’t so bad! But I understand your wife perfectly 🙂


  2. February 6, 2015 at 12:03 pm #

    As you still get to tell the story now, definitely worth it. Also? I have to try that recipe!


  3. February 6, 2015 at 12:05 pm #

    The ribs look delicious, but the dish won’t be enough of an apology if I were your wife. The story was funny though. 😀


  4. February 6, 2015 at 1:32 pm #

    Loved the story, you made me laugh 🙂
    The ribs look pretty good too!


  5. Lori M.
    February 6, 2015 at 2:47 pm #

    LOVE this story…I can ONLY imagine her horror. RJ and I were in Phoenix in 2000, went to an old west town too, probably the same one. I did NOT have my 8 year old son thrown in jail, but if my husband was there, I would not have hesitated to have him thrown in jail 🙂


  6. February 7, 2015 at 2:33 am #

    I’m guessing your “transgression” is already recorded in St. Peter’s book. You may want to take a barrister with you. 🙂


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